Looping Roller Coaster

Lots going on in my life. Roller coaster of events some good majority bad.

Feel alone and desolated. Some days I can’t stop crying. What I would give for a hug off my mum and dad. Fortunately I know that will never happen again. Things keep reminding me of them.

Talks with friends mentioning happy family times is hard. I get a lump in my throat.

Not long till Christmas. Although I have some plans I can’t wait till it’s over. But the. Again mothers and Father’s Day will occur and these no way of me getting out of this vicious revolving circle.

I think when I find a kind caring decent man and have someone to occupy my time with things will change. However I don’t think this will happen anytime soon.

Have taken myself away from the world for a few days in an attempt to try and clear my head. No such luck however some lingering jobs I have done.

I just feel tired: fed up of waiting for my luck to change. I’m well overdue. Trying to keep positive is becoming more of a struggle. Find myself asking myself why was I put on this earth other than to care and always receive bad intentions.

I don’t want the sympathy vote. I realise life is hard. ‘Family’ to acknowledge me would be a start and to invite me and include me in social events.

This past few months I have realised that I have a few select good friends and they mean the world to me. If I didn’t have this support I don’t know where I’d be.

The tears have started again. I need to go so something to occupy myself and cheer the fuck up.

There are some good points to my life which is living alone and being very dependant. I like being able to go out on a whim and see my friends whenever and go to events.

Next year I’m hoping my mass submission of cv applications does some good and gets me a job. I think the barrier there is me caring for the past several years and not that much experience. We shall see.

Christmas companies!!

Why is it that so many Companies Customer Relations are EXTREMELY BAD! I’m not going to name names but they are really well known and popular companies but their Customer Services are shocking. I would never treat my customers like that!!

How many times do I need to contact a company to collect a parcel ….. I’m on my third attempt today! Hmmm

Paperwork – End of the month job, however I try to keep it down during the month but I still have a stack to sort, hmm, I must have paperwork demons that triple my workload!

Can finally work on my desk area later today ….. looking forward to not being dazzled with a huge monitor under 10″ away from my face!

Have some new work-in-progress designs that are taking shape nicely, one of a kinds, watch this space!

Maybe update you later after I have demolished the paperwork pile!

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